Speaker for the forgotten
by Freya's Valhalla
Summary: 'Tonight, Konoha is a song of a thousand cries, but Kakashi only hears the wail of a newborn.' Kakashi centered. Oneshot. Edited ending.


_**If someone told me I'd one day write about Kakashi, I would've laughed (not that I have anything against him, I've just never felt the urge to delve into his persona), but after watching **_**Naruto**_**'s latest filler arc, the need was borne, and this is its result. So for those who haven't seen it, well… this might come as unexpected, but I assure you that despite the AUish elements, this fic still sticks to canon.**_

_**...**_

The first person Kakashi sees after murdering Rin with his own hands is Minato, and his first thought is to pull at his new damned Hokage robes and spat at him _where were you?!_ But instead, he removes the hospital bed sheets covering his bruised body and stands in front of him as stall as he can, fresh wounds still tugging at him. He bows his head then, with the poise of a seasoned shinobi and murmurs what seems only fitting.

"There has been a casualty in the battlefield, Hokage-sama", he falters then, her last word echoing in his head, "Nohara Rin." With that, he sits back on the soft mattress and darts his gaze towards the slightly opened window. Minato says nothing.

_**...**_

_Twenty-one, twenty-two, twenty-three_… Kakashi closes the faucet after twenty-three rubbings of his hands under freezing water. It has become a must do in his life, just like ninjutsu or taijutsu training, only less pleasant. He guesses it's a punishment of sorts, being chained by such a menial task, but he's content with this chafe as it is, for it is a daily reminder of his greatest failure. Because despite what most of his comrades might think, Kakashi _has_ failed before, both as a shinobi on duty and – to Kakashi's own reasoning – as a son. Yet nothing compares to Rin. There's Obito and the black spinning tomoe left behind that now dances in Kakashi's left eye, but nothing hurts like Rin's demise, as it is the apogee of Kakashi's impotence; he has failed to uphold his vow to Obito and there's nothing he can do to make it right. So he makes shuriken fly like birds descending upon their prey and punches dummies and tree trunks and whatever he comes across until his knuckles crack and bleed. And still he hears Rin's breathy voice whisper his name as he looks at his now bloodied right hand, and gasps at the heartrending memory he cannot forget. _Twenty-one, twenty-two, twenty-three…_

**_..._**

"Kakashiii!" Gai's half-scream half-plea echoes through the street, possibly down to the Hokage tower itself. Kakashi ignores him as he has done for the past months, strolling by the tea shop where Kurenai and Asuma are also clustered. He smells the sweetness of anko balls and hears Kurenai whisper something that makes Asuma sigh. He figures the only two things that would make Asuma sigh are his father and Kakashi himself. He sees Gai waving his arms like an unhinged balloon out of the corner of his eye and wonders what the Hell was he thinking of when he accepted one of Gai's crazy challenges for the first time. Kakashi turns around the corner and spots and elderly woman struggling with a pair of huge grocery bags. _Obito would've ran to help her_, he thinks,and he's about to give into sentimentalities when he glimpses a figure clad in black settled on a nearby tree. The man signals at him in code and disappears as quickly as he arrived, leaving only a faint trail of leaves scattered in the wind behind.

When Kakashi arrives at the top of the Hokage tower, an ANBU member – seemingly the man from before – nods for Kakashi to follow him. They run into a couple of shinobi and civilians now and then before finally arriving at the official council room, and Kakashi is left facing the closed door as the man silently strides away. Kakashi notices then he's more of a boy than a man judging by the outstanding stealth of his steps and his overall casual demeanor. His thoughts are interrupted by the Hokage's voice urging him to enter. Kakashi finds himself standing in front of the Yondaime, whose eyes wander over an overwhelming amount of unwrapped scrolls. Kakashi bows slightly and is acknowledged with a nod. When the Hokage looks up at him, Kakashi sees the hardness of a seasoned warrior flash in his eyes, but as he takes the heavy hat off and rubs his hand over his scalp, there is only Minato left and his gaze is weary. Kakashi waits for him to speak, but his former sensei seems somewhat struggling to do so; a deep breath and creasing of his brow the only silent statements.

"Some in the village think I'm not qualified for the position and oppose me", he finally says. Kakashi's stare falters; his vision momentarily stained by a different hue of red than his sharingan's. "That's why I've decided to assign you to the ANBU under my direct control." Kakashi's eyes widen despite being aware that Minato's paying attention to his every reaction. He feels his right hand twitch and quickly closes his eyes in hopes of blocking the flow of macabre images. Kakashi is being offered the highest position he could've ever thought of achieving, yet the only thing he wants to say to Minato is still _where were you?! _But instead, he asks _why me_, and Minato gives him a small smile, like the ones he used to give to him when there was still a team to lead and people had yet to fall dead next to Kakashi.

**_..._**

When dawn finally settles on October 10th, Kakashi glances at the sky amidst the wreckage and wonders how can it be so beautiful – oranges and blues dancing together in harmony – up there while it's so ugly and gruesome down here. Minato is dead, and Kakashi swallows down the urge to despair out of respect for the corpses laying beside him. He watches civilians and shinobi alike fall to their knees to help and shelter the wounded and for the first time in what seems like ages, Kakashi doesn't know where to start. He ponders if this might be his fault, if the toll of the dead is on him as collateral damage for Minato. After all, he has already killed two of his team mates; it couldn't be long 'til Minato was taken by Kakashi's curse. Sarutobi stops Kakashi before he can reach Minato's dead body; he dares not look at Kushina's. Tonight, Konoha is a song of a thousand cries, but Kakashi only hears the wail of a newborn.

**_..._**

It is common knowledge in the village that ANBU holds the fiercest and boldest shinobi to be found; only most people don't know about Root. Secrecy is a double-edged sword, and in Root, the blade is always pointed at the bearer. Kakashi starts being followed exactly two days after the Kyuubi attack, with mourning ceremonies yet to be conducted. At first he thinks they might be fellow ANBU members playing shadow to ensure he does not go berserk – though even Kakashi himself doubts he has enough life in him left for that to happen – but it soon becomes obvious there's more than meets the eye. His theory proves true when Danzo sneaks on him on one of his countless visits to the Memorial Stone. Kakashi is sure he'll regret listening to what Danzo has to say, however much truth he speaks, but for the sake of formalities and a little too much grudge, Kakashi listens nonetheless. Danzo's words are what Kakashi wants to hear, albeit not what he needs, and so when Kakashi walks into Root's whereabouts the next day, greeted by nothing but faceless figures bathed in darkness, he's sure this is the place where he was meant to be.

**_..._**

Kakashi stands alone in front of the official council room just as he had almost a year ago, only this time he knows Minato will not be the one he'll find surveying scrolls, but the Sandaime instead. Kakashi does not regret what he's done for Root; they have taken from him much less than he's taken from others, yet there are boundaries Kakashi's found out he's not ready to cross, and hopes he never will be. _It was the Third's foolhardy ideals of peace that dragged the war on", _Danzo had declared, and Kakashi had believed him; weary of shouldering the blame. So he'd worked for him, spied for him, hurt for him, and when Kakashi thought there was no going back, he'd heard the Hokage was to be assassinated. He'd watched the unperturbed figures of Root's members, men and women that had sworn an oath to the Third just as they had to the Fourth before him; take the order as any other mission.

He realized then, that any of these people could've already taken the exact same order before; that any could've propelled the events of Konoha's longest night at Danzo's bidding. So Kakashi plays along as he always has, and when the secret meeting is over, Kakashi stands alone in front of the official council room just as he had almost a year ago, only this time he knows Minato will not be the one he'll find surveying scrolls, but the Sandaime instead, and Kakashi vows he'll keep this one – and those to come – alive; if only for the sake of those who have long left.

**_..._**

"Ne, Kakashi-san, you were in ANBU once, right?" A female voice chirps in, and Kakashi is forced to peel his eyes off the menu. He already knows what he'll order – it is always the same – but she lacks that knowledge and so feigning ignorance is allowed. "Gai-san has told me everything about you", she winks. Kakashi really hopes he hasn't, albeit even he doesn't know it all. It's been almost ten years since Kakashi quit both ANBU and Root, yet if feels like it was only yesterday when he was slicing people's throats – wrong people's throats. He leads a different kind life now, full of children with elusive ambitions that try to make him their sensei and sensei that try to make them his students. It is a never ending cycle, and all of them fail at the end of the day.

"I had a boyfriend that was in the Sensor Unit, and..."

Sometimes he fancies renouncing his Jonin post, if only to chase back the days when nobody expected great things from him; he has always been better at following rather than making decisions. He guesses the only thing that's really changed in all this time is that; him being dependable – or at least supposed to be. Gai still comes up with stupid challenges (and has thrown in some blind dating for Kakashi). _I will find the perfect woman for you, Kakashi! Love is the zenith of youth!_ So Kakashi sits in front of a stranger once a month to shup up Gai and avoid further ridiculous suggestions. For all he knows, next time Gai comes up with a brilliant idea Kakashi might find himself having dinner with a guy. Asuma still sighs, though now more at his father than at Kakashi, and Kurenai still whispers into Asuma's ear now and then. He judges Asuma must have his fair share of sighing with her too, albeit of another kind. Nothing has really changed, indeed; Obito and Rin and Minato are still dead, two of them buried in the village itself, and the weight of their bodies still drags on him.

"... my sister says shinobi are the best you can marry..."

_Ne, Kakashi-san, you were in ANBU once, right? _Nothing has really changed, yet everything has.

_**Thanks to the lovely reviews, I've found the needed inspiration to put an appropiate end to this. I hope this feels better than the previous one. Thoughts?**_


End file.
